I called the breast implant bomb concept soon after the shoe bomber entered the world stage. I figured if you have an orifice — stuff it, cap it, and you can blow it.  The breast implant bombs would be easy to install with two compartmentalized chemicals separated by barriers in each breast. They would need only to be pierced to mix — then start “twerking” for ignition. Does not take much brain power to construct and these donkey bomb engineers would have no problem finding volunteers.

How do you even profile dangerous looking boobs? What do suspicious boobs look like? TSA is going to have a field day with this and eventually they will need to have sex with your wife — to make it safe for others (you will hear a case like this one day. ) Eventually the safest way to fly will be butt-naked and the boarding process will be hilarious. You will hear over the loudspeaker, “All passengers with eczema please board the plane . . . Next up, all passengers with back-fat please board the back of the plane.”

Ok, enough of my silly moment but you have to admit a good sense of humor is an asset in the end times! The breast bomb concept was reported in 2010 but London’s Heathrow International Airport has been on high alert ( two days ago) after “credible” sources warned of “tidday bomb” attacks are forthcoming. I am sure Apple computers is working on an app to detect breast bombs so we should be safe again soon. The boarding process has been bottle-necked because the heightened state of alert.

I wish the extremist had some sort of “cosa nostra” like the Italian mob where airports are off-limits. The only silver-lining is — TSA agents might be able to discover breast cancer for some fortunate passengers in between mammograms. Actually this is an easy one and great for the bomb sniffing dog industry. Have each suspicious sets of ta-tas sniffed before boarding!